My Musings

I Wonder (Marriage Gone Wild)

I  Wonder (Marriage Gone Wild)

“LGBTQ” is a new category for a special set of human beings now. I wonder, should marriage or civil unions be redefined so that each consenting adult “bisexual” (the “B” in “LGBTQ”) is free to have a spouse from each gender? For each partner in a “bisexual marriage” or “civil union” to have a partner from each gender, the union would have to include four people. How “inclusive” are you? Or are so-called “bisexuals” second-class citizens in terms of marriage rights? Why should “L”s and “G”s get to marry as they please and as they “love”, but not “B”s?

In our last election, many Minnesota, Washington, Maine and Maryland voters thought they were voting for “the freedom to marry.” May I ask, who’s freedom to marry? Should consenting adult “B”s have the same right and freedom to marry as they see fit as “H”s (heterosexuals, which may include bigamists and polygamists) and, in several states, “L”s and “G”s do?

I wonder, should same-sex triples or quadruples (consenting adults in love) get the same “freedom” as couples? Can sincere polygamist and polyamoristst adults in love get “marriage equality?” How about people who are already legally married but are sincerely in love with someone else who wants to marry them? Why use the law to force them to get a divorce first? Can we let churches do their own thing(s) but use an “anything goes” ethic for the rest of society? Can we legally restrict some people’s freedom to marry but not others? How and why?

Do we really want all consenting adults who love each other to be free to re-define marriage as they prefer and change society’s laws to suit their preferences? Should the age-old specific qualities of motherhood and fatherhood be minimized or devalued by redefining “marriage” in ways that displace either one or replace them both with “whateverhood”? After all, kids just need “love,” right?

The words “bride” and “groom” (along with “husband” and “wife”) are already being cleansed from some state marriage and divorce certificates. “Bride” and “groom” are being replaced with “Spouse A” and “Spouse B” or “Person A” and “Person B.” These cold impersonal changes cost tax-payer money. Look for furious fights over who gets to be “A” and who has to lower themselves to be “B”. Of course, how can we deny the marriage rights and liberties of “Spouse C”, “Spouse D”, and “Spouse E”?

I wonder, do kids need us to do our best to enable as many of them as possible (barring tragedies) to have a mom and a dad in the home? Or is “whateverhood” just as good as motherhood and fatherhood working together? Do we not at some point need a moral standard for marriage on behalf of our children and our future as a society?

I’m glad you asked. Jesus clearly gave us that standard:

    From the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (Matthew 19:4-6, including quotes from Genesis 1:27 and 2:24).

So, “from the beginning,” God intended for marriage to involve the following:

  • Male and female…
  • Leave father and mother…
  • Two become one…
  • God does the joining.
  • Man should not mess with this sacred joining of one man and one woman.

We humans have not always lived up to God’s standard. But that’s no excuse for throwing it away. Whatever the media, Democrats, Republicans and Libertarians do now, I will simply continue to advocate for the integrity of marriage, motherhood and fatherhood in the interest of our children’s future. I stand with Jesus. If that makes me a “bigot” in your eyes, then you need your eyes checked… and your heart.


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Four Wives?

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About the Author:

Joel graduated from Pepperdine University with a B.A., completing two majors: Art and Religion. He went on to earn the Master of Divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. The views expressed on this blog are personal and belong to Joel Solliday unless otherwise stated. They are not, intended to characterize the views of the Lewiston Church of Christ or other organizations to which I may refer.


  1. Cathyem3  January 8, 2013

    Amen and amen


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